i am (i am) among the 9 thousand

Created on August 11, 2012 by Jeremiah John
 

the day barks:

a hound set to guard
by inner clockworks
officious, vigilant

exhaustion
nine thousand anonymous
lapping at the will
an attriting ocean

once again it bays
thirsting for work
and feed

"i am (i am)"

yes, and i am
i say
but less
in the dawn

oh the ceaseless dawn!
calling me to life
from wordless desire

ah how it tracks me
9 thousand distinctions
shattered from a single pane
and the wind carries a howl
through the broken glass

"i am (i am)"

i see that you are!
and i am less!
who am i this morning?
who was i last night?
who shall i be today?
why do you track me
you bloodhound
where do you come from
on the coattails of my grief
to the citadel of my self
where i had thought to rest

"i am (that i am)"

again you are?
again and again?
and which are you, oh god
the howl on the wind?
are you this relentless morning
or are you
the seducing worlds

i have
few characters
for you oh god

my mind is a desert
baked dead
you are the sun
i cannot know you
hypernonymous

i know i am
wordless, unformed
as the womb-bound

but what is you
and what is me
oh god

i stand before the sea of glass
and the light rages
in its depths
a storm seen through a darkened glass

yes
i fear you are
as i fear i am not

i fear i am lost
among 9 thousand things
inchoate

i fear more
that you are here
among us
and i have known you not.

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About the Author

Hi. My name is Jeremiah John. I'm a sf/f writer and activist.

I just completed a dystopian science fiction novel. I run a website which I created that connects farms with churches, mosques, and synagogues to buy fresh vegetables directly and distribute them on a sliding scale to those in need.

In 2003, I spent six months in prison for civil disobedience while working to close the School of the Americas, converting to Christianity, as one does, while I was in the clink.